Can you throw some light on Why one reacts ? How does one overcome it ?
There are more than one way to look at this problem. Let’s refer to these ways as frequencies. The most common frequency with which we look at problems like hurt, pain, anger, jealousy, setbacks, guilt and despair is – “why did this happen to me ? What wrong have I done to deserve this ?”. Let’s say this is the default frequency which we’re all born with. We need to understand that there are other frequencies too available from which to look at a problem. All these other frequencies are higher (more powerful) than the default frequency. A higher frequency can give a complete twist to how I perceive THE SAME problem, in a way that I don’t feel threatened by it.
Let’s take hurt. Someone hurts you. Now this becomes a thorn in your flesh. Just by someone passing a comment, why does my world go upside down ? A problem is a problem only when I perceive myself as far smaller than the problem. And as long as I perceive myself as smaller than the problem, I feel threatened. I feel pushed into a fight or flight situation. So in order to reduce the threat, I throw caution to the winds and run after acquiring things so that I can feel big, slyly converting luxuries into necessities, investing a good amount of time, energy and money, possibly compromising health and other values. Finally when I do acquire these “add-ons” (sometimes one may fail to acquire too) I feel BIG, full and complete and there’s happiness. Mind you, this happiness is not the unlimited happiness which is not dependent on the external situation, but limited to counter the hurt that was inflicted on me and to fill in the gap of - the big problem minus the small me. Now I’m happy because I perceive myself as, bigger than the problem.
Well, how long does it last ? Till my neighbor buys a bigger car and brags about it. I feel deflated. Now we know that only an inflated thing can deflate. Which means the big-ness I felt after acquiring the add-ons, was not real but hyped. Now I’m jealous of my neighbor. But while interacting with my neighbor I put up a façade of well being and suffer some amount of guilt too because I know I should not be jealous. Secretly I’m seeking a solution to this problem of jealousy because once again I perceive myself as small and insignificant. In desperation I repeat THE SAME MISTAKE of seeking add-ons to make myself feel bigger and complete thru inflating.
The default frequency blocks my vision from understanding and realizing the powerful potential within me. This block divides me. The fundamental damage that this division does is that I “lose” (seemingly, not really) a grip over my own powerful self. As I grow up, I’m searching for a solid anchor outside of me in the external world. Beginning with my parents as a solid anchor, as I grow, I realize they’re fallible. Once again I feel alienated. In my desperation for another anchor, I hook on to an uncle or an aunt, or a neighbor, or teacher for a while. No sooner I find they too are fallible, I seek a partner who can give me “unconditional love”. When this too dashes my hopes, then slowly I shift my seeking into higher qualifications, bigger house, money, other material possessions, fame, power etc. – not realizing that the only solid infallible anchor is within me, but this block is hiding this fact. This is the disease.
Another offshoot of this block (which divides me) is that, I look at hurt, jealousy, despair, anger etc. as water-tight compartments. So I seek solutions for each separately, thinking that once this problem is solved I won’t have any other problem. I don’t realize that these are all myriad SYMPTOMS of the same DISEASE and that instead of running around in the external world for treating the symptoms, I need to look within to crack thru the disease. But for this I need to raise my frequency to a higher level. One can spend an entire lifetime or even hundreds of them remaining in the default frequency without ever realizing their higher potential.
Initially, what I need to do is – accept quick fixes (whatever suits you best) to treat these symptoms for a while but simultaneously and with awareness learn to loosen the grip of the default frequency by questioning – is hurt/ pain/ anger/ jealousy the only responses available to a stimulus, or IS THERE another possible way to look at the situation ? Is it possible that all my life I may JUST MAY have been wrong in my assumptions about myself ? For the first time you are seeking answers by looking inward. This is what I call the “pause” mode. Mind you when you ask yourself this question for the first time and dare to respond DIFFERNTLY, the whole world – your relatives, friends, colleagues and of course not to forget the powerful default frequency itself will all have daggers drawn telling you you are “crazy”, “stupid” and all kinds of negatives. The default frequency on its part will remind you of past hurt, how you’ve been treated unfairly or just dangling another attractive carrot – why all this ? Because you’ve dared to swim against the tide.
The only thing that can sustain you is a strong will. But to keep the will strong you need to accept that there is something about you that you still DON’T KNOW and your urge to know must be strong too. If your will is strong and the urge to know yourself is strong and you continue to take your responsibilities in life, as “THE ALCHEMIST” says, the universe conspires to bring in people, forces and circumstances in your life which will help you travel to the next milestone.
There are more than one way to look at this problem. Let’s refer to these ways as frequencies. The most common frequency with which we look at problems like hurt, pain, anger, jealousy, setbacks, guilt and despair is – “why did this happen to me ? What wrong have I done to deserve this ?”. Let’s say this is the default frequency which we’re all born with. We need to understand that there are other frequencies too available from which to look at a problem. All these other frequencies are higher (more powerful) than the default frequency. A higher frequency can give a complete twist to how I perceive THE SAME problem, in a way that I don’t feel threatened by it.
Let’s take hurt. Someone hurts you. Now this becomes a thorn in your flesh. Just by someone passing a comment, why does my world go upside down ? A problem is a problem only when I perceive myself as far smaller than the problem. And as long as I perceive myself as smaller than the problem, I feel threatened. I feel pushed into a fight or flight situation. So in order to reduce the threat, I throw caution to the winds and run after acquiring things so that I can feel big, slyly converting luxuries into necessities, investing a good amount of time, energy and money, possibly compromising health and other values. Finally when I do acquire these “add-ons” (sometimes one may fail to acquire too) I feel BIG, full and complete and there’s happiness. Mind you, this happiness is not the unlimited happiness which is not dependent on the external situation, but limited to counter the hurt that was inflicted on me and to fill in the gap of - the big problem minus the small me. Now I’m happy because I perceive myself as, bigger than the problem.
Well, how long does it last ? Till my neighbor buys a bigger car and brags about it. I feel deflated. Now we know that only an inflated thing can deflate. Which means the big-ness I felt after acquiring the add-ons, was not real but hyped. Now I’m jealous of my neighbor. But while interacting with my neighbor I put up a façade of well being and suffer some amount of guilt too because I know I should not be jealous. Secretly I’m seeking a solution to this problem of jealousy because once again I perceive myself as small and insignificant. In desperation I repeat THE SAME MISTAKE of seeking add-ons to make myself feel bigger and complete thru inflating.
The default frequency blocks my vision from understanding and realizing the powerful potential within me. This block divides me. The fundamental damage that this division does is that I “lose” (seemingly, not really) a grip over my own powerful self. As I grow up, I’m searching for a solid anchor outside of me in the external world. Beginning with my parents as a solid anchor, as I grow, I realize they’re fallible. Once again I feel alienated. In my desperation for another anchor, I hook on to an uncle or an aunt, or a neighbor, or teacher for a while. No sooner I find they too are fallible, I seek a partner who can give me “unconditional love”. When this too dashes my hopes, then slowly I shift my seeking into higher qualifications, bigger house, money, other material possessions, fame, power etc. – not realizing that the only solid infallible anchor is within me, but this block is hiding this fact. This is the disease.
Another offshoot of this block (which divides me) is that, I look at hurt, jealousy, despair, anger etc. as water-tight compartments. So I seek solutions for each separately, thinking that once this problem is solved I won’t have any other problem. I don’t realize that these are all myriad SYMPTOMS of the same DISEASE and that instead of running around in the external world for treating the symptoms, I need to look within to crack thru the disease. But for this I need to raise my frequency to a higher level. One can spend an entire lifetime or even hundreds of them remaining in the default frequency without ever realizing their higher potential.
Initially, what I need to do is – accept quick fixes (whatever suits you best) to treat these symptoms for a while but simultaneously and with awareness learn to loosen the grip of the default frequency by questioning – is hurt/ pain/ anger/ jealousy the only responses available to a stimulus, or IS THERE another possible way to look at the situation ? Is it possible that all my life I may JUST MAY have been wrong in my assumptions about myself ? For the first time you are seeking answers by looking inward. This is what I call the “pause” mode. Mind you when you ask yourself this question for the first time and dare to respond DIFFERNTLY, the whole world – your relatives, friends, colleagues and of course not to forget the powerful default frequency itself will all have daggers drawn telling you you are “crazy”, “stupid” and all kinds of negatives. The default frequency on its part will remind you of past hurt, how you’ve been treated unfairly or just dangling another attractive carrot – why all this ? Because you’ve dared to swim against the tide.
The only thing that can sustain you is a strong will. But to keep the will strong you need to accept that there is something about you that you still DON’T KNOW and your urge to know must be strong too. If your will is strong and the urge to know yourself is strong and you continue to take your responsibilities in life, as “THE ALCHEMIST” says, the universe conspires to bring in people, forces and circumstances in your life which will help you travel to the next milestone.
Love and wishes,
Rekha
3 comments:
lovely article..... never thought of things in this way....
A Vry Thought provoking Article....
There's a question that I would like to ask.....
Whenever things dont work out,people often blame their Destiny.How true is it?
Thanks Richa.Good question. It inspired me to write the article "Destiny - a dumping ground ...". I'm sure thre are still unanswered questions brimming in your mind. Feel free to ask.
Rekha
Post a Comment